Imperfect as ever

Here I am again--back at the alter of the god of being understood and appreciated. (you wouldn't know about that, because it's one of the many blogs of the past few months that hasn't made it out of my notebook and onto my computer).

I hear the accusations again: "Maybe you're not even dancing with God--maybe you're out there all by yourself. (p.s. Every one's staring at you...and you look ridiculous).

But I am not alone. Even if I'm getting it wrong and I'm stepping all over God's toes. Even if I'm trying to lead GOD, and every one's laughing at the presumptuousness of that foolishness. Even then, He has not left me or forsaken me. He is out there--on the dance floor--claiming me as His--2 left feet and all. He delights in me and sings over me. He hates that I have to feel this way, but He knows what it will produce in me, so He is strong enough and loving enough to let me go through it. He doesn't show me visions of real suffering, and tell me to "snap out of it!". He looks at me in my awkward stages and sees the woman He has created me to be.

He loves me. He redeems me. And that is better than the praise, acceptance, and glowing reports of a thousand fickle men.

"When I don't fit in and I don't feel like I belong anywhere

When I don't measure up too much in this life,

I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ."

(Sanctus Real, Forgiven)

I've missed you all. Shall we dance?:]