Saturday, January 9, 2010

semi-formal/casual-dressy-me

Right now, before I officially "launch", (blog lingo), while I can look over and see 5 faces, ("followers", more blog lingo)...I feel I should let you know what you're in for, here. I'm gonna sometimes look semi-formal in the way I post--and I'm gonna sometimes be casual Friday. And I don't wanna give you whiplash or anything, so I just thought a warning might be in order. So...here's some casual Friday for ya:

Can I make a confession?

I'm an "all or nothing" girl, and I'm about to "All" myself to death...and the sad thing is, it ends up looking a lot like nothing.
Get up early. Go to bed early. Eat right. Pray while on the elliptical. Have time with God...(which is really getting out of control). I'm presently reading all of the following-every morning:
  • "My Utmost for His Highest"
  • "The Love Dare"
  • The Bible
  • "Crazy Love"

And I want to read them all. But then again, what impact can I expect when I'm reading in so many different directions? I find myself-an hour and a half later-unable to focus on any one thing I've been studying, and now the day is getting away from me-again.

Just to give you an idea--I've had to repeat day 2 of "The Love Dare" 4 times now, cause I can't seem to get through a day without saying something negative to my husband. (And I've told him about it, and sort of blamed him for it--nice huh?) Ya think I might be missing the point?!

It's not like I'm a hopeless mess-but it is like I'm a mess.

The enemy would love me to drown in all of the All. To give up, to be hopeless, and amount to nothing. But that's just not an option. I've got to get this A.D.D. girl-who is all over the place-back to the place where I am simply His.

Yours, God. I gotta tell you, I don't know how to do it. There are so many good things I want to do and be, but all my running ahead has me running in circles. And it makes me dizzy...and I might throw up.

But you know how you always feel a little better after you throw up? Sure there's that bad taste in your mouth, but the offensive stuff has been evacuated...and the quiet empty-for-now-hope-that-doesn't-happen-again feeling, at least has the word "hope" in it.

Settle me down, Lord. Walk ahead of me and set the pace. Redeem this mess.

I'm just gonna hold on with my eyes shut. I'm gonna remember that there is therefore now no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus. And I am in Christ Jesus. And I can remember that with my eyes shut. I'm gonna stop putting my hope in the All-that ends up looking a lot like nothing-and put my hope in the one I'm holding onto.

"All Those who put their hope in Him will never be put to shame."

And when I open my eyes back up, He will be my All, and there is no shame in that.

6 comments:

  1. Who knew breakfast could be so encouraging? Thank you for your honesty.

    Love ya.

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  2. Hiya, did you get my comment? For some reason it didn't post. I also tried to email you something important, but it said your mailbox was full. One of us is having tech problems... :-) Give me a call soon. I'd love to catch up.

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  3. WOW!!! I feel like you just took a peek into my world and wrote about it. I ALWAYS feel like I am going in a million different directions and therefor never seem to get ANYTHING done. I am going to close my eyes, ask God to settle me, to go before me and set the pace and I KNOW he will redeem OUR messes. It's good to know that I am NOT alone! Thanks girl!!! :)

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  4. Seriously, are you stalking me? You have described my life accurately and completely. When I lose focus and start to think that all the chaff, all the distractions, all the stuff will fill that empty hole and I feel myself being grabbed by the ankles and dragged deeper...I get a little tap on the shoulder, a reminder that our glorious, loving Father God is all I ever need.

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  5. Lisa (desperate me)January 22, 2010 at 4:22 PM

    Thanks for letting me know I'm connecting with you guys...I love hearing your feedback:*

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  6. Somebody once suggested that I pray "God, help me complete everything you have to do for me today, and nothing else." I like that. Also, it turns out that God almost NEVER wants me to vacuum, so...bonus!

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